Peeping into an oven to be met with the vision of an ugly and flopped cake is like suddenly coming face to face with the futility and wretchedness of, well, everything. You see, for the existentially-sensitive, time spent in the production of an ugly cake raises questions best left unasked. Once you consider: “What was the point of all that baking” your are just one fateful leap of the imagination away from the devastation of wondering: “What’s the point of anything?”
I made an especially ugly cake just last week-end and have been licking the wounds to my sense of meaning and purpose ever since. Well, I would have been licking my wounds if my mouth hadn’t been dedicated to the task of emptying a giant jar of Nutella instead- a fine substitute for meaning and an efficient therapy for any spiritual crisis.
I began this task with the assistance of just a teaspoon, too frail to aspire to anything more than Nutella straight out the jar. About 1/4 of the way into the jar, I must have begun to recover because it occurred to me to heat the Nutella in the microwave to enhance its goopyness: The first buds of creativity beginning to peep out from the abyss. Half way down, and now well on the way to a complete recovery, I managed to create this Nutella Hot Chocolate (a copy-cat of the Hot Chocolate you get at South Africa’s beloved Melissa’s).
What you land up with is a hazelnut hot chocolate but with the added pleasure of eating warm goopy Nutella by the spoonful. This is much like eating Nutella from the jar, but with just enough flair to suggest that you are happily blinded to the ghastliness of it all.
Heat some milk in a pan (don’t let it boil). Generously coat the sides of a mug with Nutella – the bleaker your outlook the thicker you should make this layer. Pour the milk into the well of Nutella, let the heat work at it for about 30 seconds. Now take hold of your teaspoon and let the healing begin.